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With
no one to hear his cries, Reuben felt confused, guilty, and overwhelmed
with despair. The negativity that plagued him emerged from deep within
his soul. He felt more isolated than ever now that the clone had given
up. Everything was crashing down on him. Reuben concluded that Finch
had disappeared or dropped off of the planet altogether. Everything
that was negative rambled through Reuben's mind. Maybe he didn't love
the clone like he'd thought he would. Maybe she felt it. But maybes
didn't bring any consolation to his heart. With no way out it felt like
the end of the road as he sat in the dark alone. The love of his life
is gone, and it still hurt Reuben. After everything he'd gone through,
the lying, deceit, and the secret cloning of his deceased wife, to have
it backfire made his life seem futile.
Absorbed in dismay,
Reuben cried out for Norrell, and he cried for the clone, but neither
could hear the echoes of his cries. Their faces flashed before him in
the surrounding darkness. "Oh Norrie, where are you?" he cried out. He
wondered if she was in heaven. Or had he sent her into purgatory? He
have cheated her out of going to heaven by talking her into going along
with his devious deed. He blamed himself for not telling the family
that she had cancer. As it were, she had had a short time to live, and
he cheated his children of spending the lasts days with her. The
Witmans to say they loved her one last time.
In his heart, he
knew that Norrell had gone along with his plan only to make him happy.
"Selfish, selfish, selfish!!" Reuben said repeatedly while pounding his
fist against his forehead. His mind was in such turmoil now that he
wasn't sure of anything, except that he still missed his wife terribly.
Time wasn't healing at least not in Reuben's case. It had been almost
two years since her death. He missed her so much that he ached inside.
No one understood the love they had shared. Reuben was at an all-time
low. He concluded that if she were in purgatory, he wanted to be there
with her. At least they would be in torment together. Reuben found a
bottle of whiskey in the bottom drawer of his dresser, and downed half
the bottle quickly becoming intoxicated. He lay on his bed, his mind
restless. He pounded his fist into the pillow as though it were his
enemy. But he grew weary and couldn't find solace from beating the
pillow.
Reuben got up, wobbled to his closet, and took down
a black box from the shelf. He reached into his pockets and took out
his keys. Trying to find the right one turned out to be a task. "Damn
it!" he shouted when the keys slipped through his trembling hands and
clanged on the floor. "Can't I do anything right anymore?" Reuben hid
his face in his hands as he tried to get a grip. Wearily he pushed back
a lock of curly hair that had fallen from its place. Slowly he bent
down to pick up the keys, but he tumbled down to the floor instead.
Once down, he didn't want to get up, so he laid there for a minute or
two before remembering that he had an agenda. Forcing himself up, he
took the key and the black box and managed to find his way to the bed.
Reuben flopped down on the bed took the key, and opened the box. Inside
laid his 9mm, handgun. He inserted the clip and cocked it back.
Reuben just sat there for a moment, staring at the gun. Finally he
turned the gun toward his face. His hands began to shake as he placed
the gun inside his mouth. Tears streamed down his face.
The more
he thought about it, the more he planned to end it all. With his hands
trembling and his breathing growing increasingly rapid, he closed his
eyes and put his finger on the trigger. With a hard grunt he pulled the
trigger. . . CLICK!!!!. . . Sorry! You'll have to buy
the book to find out what happened! Go to www.amazon.com, order ADM,
on Kindle or down load to your PC or Mac. Kindle edition $9.99 and hard
cover @ $25.95.
Hard Cover $18.00. If ordered from my website
and receive a personal autographed copy. Don't miss out on this
wonderful story you'll want to share it with someone you love! Great
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Thank you for reading this portion of A Desperate Man!!!!!
